remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
