He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
