I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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