9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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