I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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