It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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