Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize