I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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