If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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