Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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