Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize