in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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