There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
