question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
