i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
