My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We have so much sex to catch up on
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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