I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think my moral compass just broke
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
