You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
