We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Fuck appropriateness.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
