That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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