Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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