i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
