I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
