the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
