He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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