First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
