lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
