Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
