At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
