What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
