I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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