that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There r osticjed everywhere
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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