How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
