Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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