i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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