seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
