I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
