i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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