it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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