As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
