How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
