North Korea, Best Korea!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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