Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize