So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
