i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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