in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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