I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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