I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
