Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
