she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
