I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
