If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
