...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
