I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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