dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
