Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
