haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
