I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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