Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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(914): View more from New York

Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.

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(716): View more from New York

You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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(801): View more from Utah

The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts

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(914): View more from New York

Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.

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(205): View more from Alabama

So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?

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(734): View more from Michigan

Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.

(516): View more from New York

Welcome to my everyday.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.

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