I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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