Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize