Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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