Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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