I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
