If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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