I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just had sex on a roof
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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