Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
