She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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